I’ve Been Honored !

I’m so excited to be nominated for the Liebster Blog Award…my first one! With high hopes of many others to follow…I’ll wish upon my star tonight.

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers who have less than 200 followers. Liebster is a German word meaning: sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome (which I’m pleasantly surprised to find that people think I am).

Big thank you to my fellow Mainer Chick, Tracie of http://livinginmaine.wordpress.com/for nominating me.

One of the requirements for having received this award is to reveal eleven random facts about yourself. Really? I’m not sure anyone would want to know that much about me…but OK. Here goes:

1. I crochet…yep my grandmother taught me and when I gave up smoking, that’s what I did with my hands in order to not light up. I haven’t bought a single blanket for over twenty years…I make my own.

2. From Maine…and I don’t like lobster, blueberries or maple anything.

3. I’ve never owned a brand new car…junkers or fix-er-uppers have always been parked in my driveway. Although I do hang a brand new car smell air freshener on the mirror from time to time just so I can fantasize about what a new car would smell like.

4. Soft bellies make great trampolines for grandbabies…thank god I didn’t exercise to get rid of mine.

5. I sometimes forget to fasten my seatbelt…my son is my seatbelt watchdog.

6. I don’t shower everyday…days off are for scumming around.

7. I leave my Christmas tree lights up all year-long.

8. I don’t wear a watch…if it’s dark, I go to bed, if it’s daylight I get up.

9. I can’t wear any type of jewelry…a guy would definitely have to get creative when gift-buying for me.

10. I’ve only had one dog in my life…and will likely never have another.

11. I dislike driving…I’m too easily distracted.

Another requirement was to answer questions from the person who nominated me.

Tracie’s questions for me:

1. How did you start blogging?

I began blogging over six years ago on various sites as a way to express myself and to interact with other writers and bloggers.

2. Do/Did you keep a journal/diary before blogging or still do?

I began keeping a diary when I was a teenager and found myself crushing on the neighbor boy. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my feelings so I jotted them in a diary. I no longer keep a diary, but I do always have a notebook and pen with me so I can jot down story or blog ideas when inspiration hits me.

3. Name a blogger you’d like to meet in person.

Mainer Chick, Tracie and any other Mainers that blog here. We could all meet up and have our own writer’s conference…including drinks and dinner.

4. Your favorite cartoon from childhood & why?

Josie and the Pussycats…who doesn’t want to play in a super cool rock band, wear leopard leotards and have hot guys hanging on your every word?

5. What’s your favorite holiday & why?

Christmas…because everyone is full of holiday good will and love. It’s a time for family and friends to come together and thank our Lord for seeing us through another year.

6. Where’s the furthest you’ve traveled?

The Grand Canyon. It had always been at the top of my to-do list and I’m thankful I got to see it.

I also had to award several other bloggers that I think have great blogs, but have under 200 followers. Some of my nominees have a little over that amount, but because I enjoy creeping their blogs I included them.

And the nominees for my Liebster Blogger awards go to………

John Macdonald http://johndwmacdonald.com/

Reflections by Doc Arnett http://docarnett.wordpress.com/

David Bennedup http://davidbennedup.wordpress.com/

Orpheus http://orpheusword.wordpress.com/

C.L. Quigley http://gunslingerpoet.wordpress.com/about/

Brice Maiurro http://flashlightcityblues.com/

http://mixandmatchmeme.wordpress.com/

http://myvuze.wordpress.com/2012/12/

John the Aussie http://sleepinginsomniacs.wordpress.com/

I’m a poetry junkie so I’ve included several poetry bloggers. Even if you think you’re not into poetry, you might surprise yourself after reading some of these blogs.

Now because I’ve included these bloggers for this prestigious award, they will be forced to answer 11 random and maybe even embarrassing questions. 

1) For the guys: Boxers or Briefs? Ladies: Thongs or granny panties?

2) Favorite T.V. show or movie?

3) So what does an atheist believe in?

4) When you meet someone you went to high school with and they ask, “Remember me?” Do you:  a)pretend to know them b)blatantly ask “who the hell are you again” c)patiently wait for them to remind you of all the other kids you might know and hope to hell those clues give you some kind of clue as to who that person is  d) say to them “high school was the pits” and wait for them to walk away

5) Do you tell a parent with an ugly baby that their child is adorable or do you not say anything at all?

6) Christmas shopping at the mall or online?

7) Do you still celebrate your birthday?

8) Do you really listen to your parents or grandparents when they give you advice or do you just nod and smile?

9) Cats or dogs and why?

10) How do you like to spend the evening after a long day at work?

11)  Where’s your ideal vacation spot?

Whew…glad that’s done! Now here are the rules for you guys:

1. Thank and link back to the person who presented you with the award. Add the award logo to your blog.

2. Answer the eleven questions posted for the nominees.

3. Share eleven random facts about yourself.

4. Write eleven questions for your nominees and then…

5. Nominate eleven worthy blogs and contact those bloggers so they know about it! (No tag backs.)

Thanks again for the award, Tracie!

More Than Before…Shits and Giggles

Newsworthy

I really have to read the newspaper more often. There’s some great stuff in there. Stuff I don’t normally see online when perusing the latest celebrity news.

 

 

 

 

What people think Zumba class is like….

What Zumba class is really like……

I didn’t realize all the exciting things I’d been missing by not reading my local newspaper. For instance I happened to pick up a copy of a local newspaper and my attention was caught by a photo of women exercising and a headline reading that the Zumba exercise program was now suffering from a scandal. I had to read…exercise, scandal…oh my.   Here’s a quick recap of the despicable event: seems as though a Zumba instructor, in a neighboring town, was offering sexy shenanigans in the back room of her studio and that she was sharing these dalliances online in order to drum up her “Zumba bookings.” Guess her booty shaker wasn’t a money-maker, at least not on the dance floor anyway. Might I suggest some real “dance lessons?

 

There was a well-known dental clinic that made headlines as well. Thousands of Mainers were affected by this clinic’s scare tactics. Seems they convinced their patients they needed to have work done that wasn’t necessary and then the cost of that work was jacked sky-high for patients who didn’t have insurance. For those that did, they had the patient sign up for a health care credit card, which was quickly maxed out by the costs that insurance didn’t cover.  They would hook their patients in with the old bait and switch – lure them in with the “free exams and X-rays” then snap the line real quick until the hook had been set by doing procedures that didn’t to be done.  Maybe that’s why I’ve never liked fishing…I’ve always felt sorry for the poor fish.

 

 

Exploding sunscreen was another headline I read. According to reports there have been recalls on an aerosol sunscreen product. The problem appears to be caused when the wearers of this product stand too close to fire and apply it. I don’t know about anybody else, but when I’m tanning in the great outdoors in ninety degree weather, I don’t tend to stand next to any open fires and apply my suntan lotion. I think the place to be would be in the water, washing all the ick away.

 

 

In celebrity news Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were married! Hallelujah! The girl’s been on the sidelines for years now waiting for that boy to sow his oats. Although why someone as great-looking as her would settle for a scrawny curly-headed man-boy is beyond me. Love is blind I guess. Wonder if Cameron and Britney are ‘crying a river’ over this guy? Me thinks not.

And lastly, I’m going back online. Turning all those pages to read the headlines was exhausting. I might even have a paper cut from it.

High-Steppin’

Click, click, click and all male heads, as well as some female heads (mine included) swivel to see what’s    attached to the sound of high heels clicking across the tiled floor. Although the men are looking to see what the woman looks like, I’m looking to see what the fabulous shoes or boots look like.

 

I’m a sucker for high heels. Fancy footwear is my weakness; the higher the better. I love sky-high stilettos and knee or thigh-high boots.

Unfortunately, I can’t wear these types of boots or shoes any longer….at least not for long periods of time….but there was a time when I wore them almost every day and all day long. My feet became accustomed to walking around in heels and when I wasn’t wearing them I sometimes found myself walking around on my tippy-toes. I couldn’t imagine not wearing gorgeous shoes. Sadly though, because of an improperly lifted tote full of thirty pound bags of dog food, my back isn’t what it used to be and it feels every step when wearing those beautiful heels. I’m now restricted to boring Dr. Scholl’s or Merrill walking shoes with a proper instep.

 

I suppose having a shoe fetish isn’t the worst thing there is, although my closet would’ve told another story. Back in the eighties, when I suffered from this obsession, my closet floor was literally covered in a rainbow of shoes and boots. It was the eighties and matching your shoes to your clothing was very important. If I decided to wear yellow jeans (yes I did this horrible fashion trend) then I had to have yellow shoes to match. What girl in her right mind would be seen in the same boring white Nikes every day or Plain-Jane brown moon shoes?

But, then the nineties came along and it became obscene to be wasteful and frivolous; which was good because after my divorce I was broke and the new thrifty trend was a perfect match for my situation. Nowadays though, it’s not about a nationwide trend or whatever, for me, it’s about being comfortable and sensible.

 

What I lack in spoiling myself with a good shoe shopping spree these days, I’ll be sure to make up for when I decide to go shopping for my son or grandson. They will be the benefactors of my fetish; probably my grandson more than my son though. He’s a baby, baby’s don’t really have a fashion sense yet and there are just so many cute baby shoes out there these days and he’s growing so fast that I won’t feel guilty if I buy one or maybe even two new pair of shoes for him.

My son though, I don’t shop so much for him. He’s not very fussy about what he wears…just so long as it’s not girly-looking (no trendy neon purple or green sneakers for him, THANK GOD)! He’s content to wear the same pair of shoes day in and day out for an entire year or until they literally fall apart on his feet. He’s not one bit concerned about fashion. If I let him, he’d wear the same shirt and pants all week. Honestly, though, I wouldn’t want it any other way. He’s a teenager; his obsessions are with X-Box and computer games. And you don’t have to get dressed up for either of those, much less wear shoes of any kind.

 

Sigh….too bad. Guess I’ll go window shopping at Famous Footwear, I hear they have some awesome shoes at wonderful prices.

What’s Trending

Being someone who gets her information and news online, it’s hard not to notice that one of the trends these days seems to be “what’s trending.” What exactly is trending? To the best of my understanding it seems to be another phrase for, “what’s cool.” It means the latest, greatest thing that’s happening RIGHT NOW.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not new, it’s been around forever. Each generation has their “trends.”  My mother’s generation had: Black leather jackets (although this particular trend will never be out of style). Felt skirts with appliqued poodles. Long sideburns, paint by number kits and saddle shoes.

 

 

 

 

My generation had: Cool Michael Jackson before he became Creepy Michael Jackson. Madonna (the virgin and Mrs. Sean Penn). Cindy Lauper wanting to have fun in parachute pants and clown make-up. Van Halen with David Lee and without. Mick Jagger swaggering into a nightclub with a matching set of disco dancing divas. There were linebacker shoulder pads in every piece of clothing as well as, one shoulder showing, sweaters.

 

 

My daughter had: Five freaky Spice Girls. Big bad banana combs and scrunchies. Wayne’s World and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Journaling all her deepest emotions. Goth jeans with zippers and chains galore. Overalls with only one strap and a skinny belt holding them up. Pumped-up basketball sneakers that cost a week’s pay and the now…oh so uncool…fanny pack.

Today’s trends are just as strange and confusing and in my opinion should never even be trendy: Bras as purses- this drives me absolutely up the wall, especially because I handle money all day. What could possibly be worse than shoving a sweat-soaked dollar bill into a cashier’s hands? The only thing that might be worse than that would be if someone took off their sneaker and handed me their money from out of their sock.

Another thing that’s trending but shouldn’t be: Men in skinny jeans – how could any man believe he looks good in a pair of jeans that cling to his skinny peg-legs? And then to wear neon purple, yellow or green flat sole sneakers with them is the ultimate in a horrifying fashion faux-pas.

Shaving half your head and leaving the other half long – why? Pick a hair length and go with it.

Knit hats in ninety-degree weather – knit hats are for minus degree weather. Throw ‘em in the mitten drawer and wait until the snow flies to wear them.

Moms mooching off their kids by making them act stupid and calling it a “reality show.” Temper tantrums, tiaras and tutu’s are not higher learning television shows.

Wearing pajamas as clothing – take a shower and get dressed you shmucks!

I got a million of these, but there’s not a million ways to say social behaviors and manners have gone out the window.  We’re all slowly turning into the lazy humans from the kid’s movie, Wally-e (which in my opinion really wasn’t that childish).

Seems to me like everyone is looking to have everything handed to them on a silver platter and are unwilling to expand any energy on bettering themselves. And the sad thing about it is that with each passing generation things seem to be getting worse. God help us all.

Closet Foodie

I’ve never been one for cooking. I’ve never particularly enjoyed it and I’ve never learned to do it well. I used to blame myself for this dilemma. I’d beat myself up about it, calling myself a lazy cook, but after much soul- searching I realized that the person to blame for this condition was my very own mother. Yes, mom, I love you and even though you’re no longer with us and unable to defend yourself, you know in your heart that my lack of culinary interest falls directly on your shoulders.

Mom was never a great cook. She knew the basics in order to keep her family from starving, but she never spent a lot of time on meals. There were always a million other things that needed her attention and cooking an elaborate meal was never high on her agenda.

Mom’s“specialty” was throwing some macaroni and hamburger together, gluing it together with tomato paste and then calling it a chop-suey. She’d then toss some bread and butter on the table, fill a few mugs with water and that was our evening meal. If we expected a fluffy, frothy, calorie-laden dessert, she’d look at us like we were nuts and ask us what planet we were from.

Needless to say, she never spent a lot of time teaching her children to master any kitchen skills. When we moved out or married we were on our own. If we wanted to learn to cook we did it through our own mistakes. I tried cooking…somewhat…during my first marriage, but I often relied on my mother’s “specialties.” I made a lot of chop-suey although I did upgrade to mixing in onions with my tomato sauce as well as warming up ready- made garlic bread instead of white sandwich bread. From time to time I’d even make a dessert.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These days though I’m finding myself drawn to cook books; especially the ones with intricate instructions and fancy garnishes. Half of the ingredients that are required for the recipes, I’ve never even heard of, but I still can’t stop myself from imagining serving something exquisite to my family and then having them ohhing and ahhing at the delicious-ness of my handiwork.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But, I know that if I’m going to start doing some decent cooking at this stage in my life, I’m probably not going to begin with a five course, five-star meal. Instead I initiated myself into the world of cooking by purchasing a crock pot recipe book. My first attempt was a minestrone soup from scratch. I had to buy barley (something I’d never bought before) dice vegetables, drop in bouillon cubes and then let it simmer for an entire afternoon. I was worried about how it would turn out and was pleasantly surprised when my family actually said it was good. I was encouraged by their enthusiasm and my confidence soared.

All in all, I’ve discovered that I’m a closet foodie. I tell myself it was because I was deprived of gourmet cooking when I was a kid and now I’m trying to make up for it as an adult. If there’s not a thing as, “lack of good cooking abuse”,then I’m coining it as my own. My therapy is going to require extensive recipe scrutinizing, going to fancy restaurants in order to sample what good cooking tastes like, and then subjecting my family and friends to my own experimental cooking.

It’s going to take years to recover from my past ordeal, but it’s just something that has to be done for my own good health.

Spiders and Snakes

I wonder if anyone remembers that old country song by Jim Stafford called, “Spiders and Snakes.” I remember it simply because the song was about hating spiders and snakes and I could relate completely to it. I don’t like spiders and snakes. And when I moved into the camp I’m currently renting, that is exactly what I had to contend with…plus a mouse, plus a variety of flying insects and an assortment of other creepy crawlies.

I didn’t have a problem dealing with the flying insects and creepy crawlies. A couple of cans of Raid around the base of the inside and outside of the house, a few ant traps and some wasp killer and they were down to manageable proportions. And the mouse was taken care of with some strategically placed mouse traps (although I did scream like I girl when I first saw it, but then…like a man…I took aggressive action and got rid of it).

The snake creeped me out, and again I screamed like a girl when I saw it slither across my carpet. My son started yelling, “Kill it! Kill it!” but I couldn’t do that because that would’ve required clubbing it with something and then having its insides splat all over my carpet. That was a mess I definitely did not want to contend with. I had another plan. I had a piece of a dryer vent still in its plastic wrapping and decided to simply tear open the top of the plastic then place the vent in front of the snake and have it slide inside. Then I’d take the snake outside and throw it in the bushes away from the house. The plan worked perfectly. No messy snake innards to clean up and the snake could still have a long happy snake life away from my house.

It’s spiders that are my undoing. The thought of spiders inside my house or anywhere in my personal space really gets my skin to crawling. I cannot handle spiders. They reproduce at an amazing rate which makes them an army that’s hard to defeat. What  disgusts me though is the way they can literally cover a door or an empty room with their web; leaving the room looking ghostly and haunted within a month. What’s  scary, and is the stuff of horror stories, is the way they wrap their innocent victims in a  cocoon and save it for a meal at a later date. Can you imagine the agony of just waiting around to be something else’s dinner?

Speaking of nasty spider nightmares, I had a major freak-out when I read an article online regarding a woman who had a spider living in her ear canal for five days! She’d been complaining of a constant itching inside her left ear and after several x-rays the doctors discovered that the source of the irritation was the spider that had entered her ear while she was sleeping! A saline solution was used to flush the spider out. For me though, that would be the ultimate in spider horror stories!

It’s obvious now, to those who didn’t know before, that I have a serious spider phobia. This of course never ceases to amuse those who are supposed to be my friends. They thrill at my screams after tossing plastic spiders at me or tickling my head or face when I’m asleep.

I wonder though, what would happen to me if someone really disliked me. Man, would I be in trouble! Throw a bucket of live snakes and spiders on me and I’d turn into a quivering mass of jelly ready for the insane asylum. Guess I better not tick anybody off…at least not today anyway.